Some human musings

I feel more and more tender and adoring toward Pooka each day. Recently, I've started inviting her up on the bed for a little cat nap if she starts agitating before the alarm goes off. It's all very sweet.

But I've been surprised by my own reactions to her lately, in as much as I seem to have started a) thinking of her as a person, almost, and b) taking her behavior, and others' assessment of it, rather personally.

We were sitting on the couch watching TV the other night, and I noticed that I had left her harness on. "That can't be comfortable," I thought, so I reached over, unsnapped it and started to try to wriggle her out of it. She lay there like a sandbag, and after putting up with a few of my fumbling attempts, growled. It was very quiet, and the most gentle growl she could muster, but I was taken aback. More than that, I was ... offended. Defensive. Rejected. Upset. I actually needed to get up and leave the room and get some air instead of, what, arguing with her? I left to get something out of the car, and when I came back, she was all tail-wagging and thrilled that I hadn't left her. Which made me feel better. Which is crazy, because her missing me is a little neurotic and not all that good for her. So.

At obedience class #3 last night, I humbled up and asked the rather cocky instructor whether he thought Pooka's play style is too rough. He pointed out some things she does that he thinks cross the line and could get her into trouble with other dogs. And then told me he thought she can be cocky when it comes to not taking criticism and corrections from his dogs. The nerve! I was offended and upset, again, though I tried to bravely accept his criticisms. Why am I taking this so hard? Pooka's not the only one who barges in and then feels terrible when she's rejected.

And finally, the other night I was tearing up some bits of treat to put in a new Pooka chew toy. Wellness brand venison jerky. I sniffed it. It smelled incredible. I put my tongue to it. I bit off a tiny piece. And then gave in and ate the whole thing. It has some odd crunchy bits in it, but otherwise, really delicious. My friend B. thinks it was some maternal instinct on my part, but I would argue that I was just hungry.