Don't eat and read.

This post is not for the faint of stomach.

I believe I've mentioned a growing awareness (if not downright obsession) with darling Pooka's bowel movements. What Comes Out seems to be a major indicator of whether What Goes In is good for her, and a general dog health barometer.

So it was with great dismay that I noticed, a few weeks ago, that What Came Out was starting to get mushy. Some days, Pooka would begin to assume the position, poo a little, and then really wobble her knees around, working hard to squeeze out the rest of the unhappy looking muck. And then I'd be stuck trying to get it all into the bag.

(To our neighbors up on 2nd Ave. on Phinney Ridge: Sorry about your herb garden! But I'm sure you understand! It was an emergency!)

On Sunday, I delivered a fresh sack of you-know-what to the vet. And then again on Monday, because they didn't run the $50 giardia test on the first sack. She has certainly slurped enough dog-park runoff to have contracted all sorts of bugs...but no parasitic culprits were found.

So my car smelled bad, my dog's butt smelled bad, and we had no scapegoat to blame. Vet recommendation? "Bland diet." Know what that means? It means I have cooked more for Pooka in the last 48 hours than for myself. Several pounds of boiled chicken breast, white rice, and cottage cheese. Tonight, we will add pumpkin in a can, a miracle cure for disgusting excretions, according to Oona, Julie, and everyone in my obedience class.

Dear Readers, I shall keep you up to date on every single detail, because I know you'd want that.

In other news, Pooka's brief phase of willingly walking into the crate has ended. She is once again hiding in her bed, or collapsing into an immovable heap behind the couch, when I tell her to "kennel up." On the bright side, she has learned what that command means.

Next week, we graduate from obedience class, assuming The Pook can sit, hold her "stay" for 20 seconds, "leave it" when faced with distracting other dogs, and "come" when called. I have great confidence -- we practiced all these things in class last night, and because she really wanted to eat more boiled chicken, she did everything I asked (with lots of extra "sit" and "down," again, because she wanted extra treats).

I've been remiss on photos, I know. But isn't poop much more important?